Managing the Mental Load of International Development
To help others, first help yourself
International development work is hard.
It’s hard mentally. Juggling competing priorities. Making a difference on a shoestring budget. Bringing your best self to work each and every day.
It’s hard emotionally. Witnessing pain and suffering. Feeling helpless to overcome institutional barriers. Reliving past experiences or enduring new ones.
With all these factors stacked against us, you’d think international development experts would be first in line for self care. The first to raise their hand and say, “I could use some help.”
Our role, after all, is to help others.
But in my years navigating this space, I’ve witnessed the exact opposite. A resistance to self care. An embrace of hustle culture. Normalizing pressure and stress to the point where we no longer spot the signs of burnout.
Our mental load is always at 110%.
And that’s not sustainable.
How Did We Get Here?
For many, international development isn’t a job.
It’s a calling.
We see development as a purpose-filled path to making the world a better place. A way to shine light into the dimmest corners. And this purpose fuels us.
It helps us get up every day and trudge forward no matter the cost.
We power through a dreary news cycle. We power through one disaster after another. We power through personal pain and a profound feeling of frustration.
As the Eagles say in their iconic song, Hotel California:
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
There’s a hole inside that can never be filled through work. But that doesn’t stop us trying. And the end result is often powerlessness, anger, or burnout.
Layer this on top of the fact that we work in an industry constructed on flawed building blocks, grounded in patriarchy, capitalism and colonialism and you have a recipe for mental overload.
I Know This Feeling Intimately
I also grew up with a dream of changing the world and for more than 20 years I have worked with leaders across Asia and the Pacific to tackle poverty, gender inequality and to create positive change.
But for many years I struggled with crippling self doubt and I was caught in a constant hustle to do and be more trying to fill a void I felt inside of me. Constantly feeling not good enough.
Working as a gender specialist exacerbated this as I experienced almost daily resistance and backlash to my work which was hard not to take personally.
On top of work pressures, I experienced a traumatic miscarriage, 8 months later my mum died unexpectedly and just as I was getting back on my feet COVID-19 hit us and my kids were at home full time for most of 2020. My husband was trying to pivot his business to work online so we could make ends meet. The mental load of homeschooling, grief, young children, aging parents, financial pressures and my own physical health challenges meant my stress levels were through the roof.
During this time the demands and pressures my work did not go away. At the time I was working as a gender specialist on a multi-country program with very little resources or support and a lot of resistance to doing meaningful gender work. I could not travel and felt helpless to effect change from my office at home. This left me feeling burnt out, frustrated and jaded.
As a sector during COVID we talked about the mental load for women as it related to our work, but there was very little discussion about our own personal challenges as international development workers.
We Need More
Why do we carry this burden alone?
In the face of mental overload there are programs that can help.
Therapy. For international development workers in traumatic settings, therapy services are a must. I remember friends of mine who responded to the boxing day tsunami recounting what they experienced as front line workers in the aftermath. As they described it, “there were bodies and devastation everywhere.” No matter how many years you work in these settings, the trauma is still there.
Coaching. Even where immediate trauma isn’t a byproduct of the work, there’s still a lingering toll. That’s where coaching steps in. Research shows coaching improves relationships by 77%, teamwork by 67%, and job satisfaction by 61%. And with an ROI six times greater than the program cost, the business case is clear.
While many international development donor organizations offer some type of support through employee assistance programs, the overarching message is often still do more with less.
It’s time we took a more expansive view when scoping and preparing for work. Therapy and coaching shouldn’t be an afterthought or emergency measure. Build these resources into your project plans and budgets.
Doing so ensures development workers operate in a sustainable and responsible environment. It ensures development efforts can go on long after this project is done.
Simple Steps to Manage Your Mental Load
Therapy and coaching may be the future of international development. But the industry isn’t going to change overnight. And that leaves many people vulnerable.
You may be one of them.
If you’re experiencing stress, anxiety, exhaustion, burnout (or worse), here are simple steps you can take to help manage your mental load.
Talk to someone. Therapy and coaching are the professional options. Seek out free support through your employee assistance program. But if you don’t have access to them, don’t stop. Connecting with a friend or colleague, even for a few minutes each week, can have a lasting impact on your mental health. Reach out.
Join a group. Expand your circle of support by joining an industry or professional group. I co-lead the Feminist Self-Care Circle for the Society of Gender Professionals. I’ve recently joined conversations in the Inner Development Goals group on LinkedIn so I can hear from like minded professionals interested in self-care and inner development. Being surrounded by other international development leaders interested in coaching has offered support, encouragement, and connection.
Ask the hard questions. When was the last time you took a day off? When was the last time you said “no” to a request? Taking time to look back can help uncover trends it’s hard to see in real time. If you’re able, set aside some time to ask yourself, How am I doing, really?
Write down what you are feeling. Studies have shown that simply writing about how you are feeling can help to reduce anxiety and stress. There’s no right or wrong way to journal and it doesn't need to follow any certain structure. It's your own private place to discuss and create whatever you want to express your feelings. Let the words and ideas flow freely. Don't worry about spelling mistakes or what other people might think.
Breathe. One of our most under utilised, free tools. Stop and take a breath. Pratice box breathing or deep belly breathing or simply imagine breathing in and out through your heart.
Move. Go for a walk, put on some music and dance around your house, or simply move your body in a way that feels good for you.
So What now?
At the end of the day we all want to make a difference. We all want to contribute to a better world.
Every powerful growth process comes with a moment of commitment as the key first step. Remember some good times in your life and how they felt. Make a commitment to experience more of those moments more often.
Along the way we need to remember that no one can be well unless everyone is well. We don’t always have control over the wellness of others but we do have control over our own. So if you find yourself experiencing stress, anxiety, self-doubt, perfectionism, fear, exhaustion or you’re on the edge of burnout please take steps today to create change for yourself.
If you don’t know where to start but you would like someone to talk to please reach out and schedule a time to talk. I’ll share my time and resources so we can get you moving in the direction of health and wellness that you deserve.