Forgetting to Live While Trying to Make a Difference. Why doing good can sometimes leave us feeling lost.
I’ve spent so much of my life chasing purpose.
Endlessly thinking about it. Worrying if I’m fulfilling it. Measuring myself against some invisible standard of “enough.”
Lately I feel like I haven’t been using some of my skills as much as I’d like. I’ve found myself going back and forth yet again, asking — What am I really meant to be doing? Am I where I’m supposed to be?
But then just recently, amidst personal loss, shock diagnoses in my friend circle, and a world that feels increasingly unstable… I’ve been questioning things more deeply. And what I’ve come to realise — slowly, and with some resistance — is that my relentless pursuit of purpose has often gotten in the way of actually living.
It’s ironic, because I'm working in international development — a system designed to improve lives. I've poured myself into the work, hoping to make a difference, and along the way I forgot to tend to my own.
What if all this striving — even for good — is costing me the chance to be present, creative, and connected to what truly matters?
The Irony We Often Miss
There’s a deep irony many of us rarely talk about:
You and I work in sectors devoted to building better lives — international development, humanitarian work, social change — yet we often find ourselves disconnected from our own well-being, our own sense of aliveness.
We advocate for dignity and resilience, while working under relentless pressure.
We design programs to create opportunity, while feeling boxed in ourselves.
We push for inclusion, but sometimes feel isolated within rigid systems.
None of this makes our work any less important. But it does call us to ask harder questions — not just about what we’re doing, but how we are living while doing it.
Remembering We Are Alive Too
Living fully isn't a distraction from the work.
It's what strengthens it.
When we slow down — even for a moment — to reconnect with the things that make life feel rich and meaningful, we don’t just heal ourselves. We reconnect with the heart of why we began doing this work in the first place.
In a world full of instability, injustice, and endless demands for our attention, staying awake to our own aliveness is an act of leadership. It’s an act of hope.
And maybe it’s one of the most urgent ones we can offer right now.
Some Questions I’m Sitting With
These days, I’m sitting with questions like:
How can I reimagine my own life beyond just productivity and achievement?
How can organisations meant to “do good” also be places where people live well, breathe deeply, and grow fully?
How can I honour the parts of me — creativity, intuition, joy — that have been quieter lately?
What if the pressure to “fulfil our purpose” is keeping many of us from living meaningfully in the present?
I don’t have all the answers.
But I think asking these questions — daring to sit with them honestly — matters.
Not just for our own healing.
But for the future we are working so hard to build.
I’d love to hear from you:
If you’ve been navigating similar questions, I'd love to hear — how are you finding ways to stay connected to your own life while working for the lives of others?
And one more thing — I’ve hardly written in a long time.
But I’m realising that I need to. Not to prove anything, or produce something perfect — but simply to honour the creative part of me that’s been quiet for too long.
So thank you for reading. It means more than you know.
P.S. That’s one of my 3 dogs in the photo.
She reminds me every day to slow down, be present, and enjoy the little things — naps in the sun, belly rubs, and just being.
She plays an important role in keeping me grounded. I suspect many of you have a creature (or ritual, or person) like that too.
Kate xx