How to overcome fear, anxiety and overwhelm?
Fear and anxiety are running wild in our world today.
And for understandable reasons. If you’ve read my recent work on how the mind works, you’ll know the human mind is designed for one thing: to protect you from perceived risks.
Unfortunately, today’s world is full of perceived risks. A war in Europe that’s triggering economic and political impacts, along with fears of a larger conflict. The continued aftershocks of the pandemic and ongoing health concerns. The rising cost of living and an ever-escalating cultural divide here in the United States.
Our sympathetic nervous systems are in overdrive. We can’t change the world events around us. And we don’t know how to process them as they’re happening. This combination has led to depression and substance abuse increases as people struggle to cope.
But there’s good news.
What I want to talk about today is a tool you can use to speak directly to your sympathetic nervous system and improve your mental health.
I’m talking about connection.
Connection is the Antidote
If fear and anxiety are the poison that’s attacking our mental health. Then connection is the antidote. The most direct way to address an unstable world and our equally unstable response to it.
Connection exists in many formats:
Connection with yourself
Connection with the earth
Connection with others
And each of these have merits.
Connecting with the earth brings harmony with the world around you and a natural feeling of investment and prosperity. While connecting with others in a healthy manner can fill social needs and create shared communal experiences. I’ll talk about these topics soon.
But the most important connection is the connection with yourself.
If you’ve ridden an airplane recently, you’ll recognize the mantra of the flight crew. “In case of an emergency,” they say. “Put on your oxygen mask before helping others.”
In the same way, you can’t help other people overcome scarcity until your mindset is right.
What does connection with self look and feel like?
I had a client ask me just the other day, what does it even mean to be more connected to myself and what would that look like? It’s a great question, because it’s not just one thing but a state of being. I love this summary of self-connection from Dr Kristine Klussman PhD, Founder and Director of Connection Lab.
“In simple terms, self-connection is a state of being…one in which you regularly tune in to your own emotional, spiritual, and physical needs, and honor them in your daily actions. You listen to your intuition. You fully inhabit your physical body. You are able to quickly pinpoint what is hurting your feelings, what kind of movement your body is aching for, when you need some alone time, and how what you’re doing in this small moment fits into your larger life purpose. It’s a heightened state of being.
When you live a self-connected life, you value your time and use it wisely…furthering the causes and priorities you care most about. You make time for meaningful activities, and avoid the meaningless. You are clear on what matters to you, with a strong internal compass that alerts you to when you’re getting off track. You feel fulfilled both in the moment and in the big picture – because you know you are tending to your deepest needs.
You take care of your health with nutritional, exercise and sleep habits that keep your unique body humming along at its best. You also tend your emotional health, regularly checking in with yourself to address any unmet needs or unresolved issues. You recognize and express your emotions. You take time to reflect and be grateful. You are honest with yourself and with others.
You cultivate a limitless curiosity when it comes to learning…about yourself, others, the world, and the many ways you might experience joy. You might be transported to a state of flow as you make art. You might revel in your oneness with other living things as you walk through the woods. You might not. But you are proficient in the language of you, and you quickly pick up on what works for you, and what doesn’t.
Self-connection impacts every area of life, from our mental and physical health to the satisfaction we derive from social connections, work, and hobbies. This is why connection theory interventions all begin by learning to improve self-connection. Let’s be clear, though: No one lives in perfect self-connection, in all areas of life, 100% of the time. We are, after all, only human! The best we can do is to develop habits that ensure we regularly check in with ourselves, honor our priorities, and help us restore connection when it (inevitably) is lost or muffled in the clamor of modern life.
Across all contexts, the payoff of self-connection is the sense of feeling truly and exquisitely alive…fully engaged with the life you lead, and welcoming every moment. Your body sings, your mind soars, and you inhabit a world of the most profound and lasting satisfaction.”
A Simple Exercise
While no one lives in perfect self-connection at all times, I’d like to invite you to complete a simple exercise so you can reflect on just how much time you spend feeling disconnected.
In a recent article, I outlined 6 mindset barriers that get in the way of impactful work. Barriers that are driven by our organic response to fear and anxiety.
Barriers like:
Negative Self-Talk
People Pleasing
A Lack of Boundaries
Overwork
Imposter Syndrome
Taking on Too Much
Does any of this sound familiar? These are all symptoms of being disconnected from yourself.
Take a moment to think about your past week. Did you experience a nagging internal voice telling you “you’re not enough” or “you need to work harder?” Did you feel dragged down by the expectations of others or the weight of your commitments?
Did you feel sluggish? Desperate to get away? How often did you turn outside of yourself to find answers to your problems? How often did you numb your thoughts by scrolling on social media or having a drink or turning to food for comfort? Second guess yourself?
These feelings and habits are a byproduct of the bigger problem. A symptom of a mind that’s overwhelmed and intimidated and not connected with what you really want and need.
Coaching Can Help
Many of my clients are surprised to hear I have a coach. “You’re a mindset coach,” they say. “Why do you need your own coach?”
The short answer is this: coaching helps you see who you truly are. And everyone needs that. Everyone needs help connecting with their internal communication. Embracing their wants and desires. And understanding their fears. Dedicated time with my coach equals dedicated time to cultivate my inner connection.
I’m regularly reminded of a helpful acronym for F.E.A.R.
F- False
E- Evidence
A- Appearing
R- Real
So often, our fears are falsities masquerading as truth. They’re visions that feel so close to reality. But, upon further investigation, they fall apart.
They aren’t real. They just appear real.
And it’s hard to see the difference.
In my experience, a skilled coach can help point out the barriers in our thinking. The times we see fear and think it’s real. When, in reality, it’s just false evidence.
That’s why I have a coach.
That’s why I am a coach.
To help others see their fears for the reality-altering thoughts they are. To help others connect with their inner self to live a more fulfilled and empowered life.
Mindful Breathing Practice
To close, I want to share with you one of my favorite self-connection practices.
It’s called “mindful breathing.”
This practice can help you connect with yourself. It can help you lean into your feelings and begin to identify the state you’re currently in.
From there, you can address your fear and anxiety head-on. You can replace false evidence with the truth. With powerful statements of intent and direction.
You can make impactful change.
Want to Learn More Tools for Connection?
At Resources Reimagined, I’m committed to the belief that every person has the capacity for an amazing life. And that sharing our gifts with others is a beautiful calling. But often, to reach our highest heights, we have to reshape how we view the mountain.
That’s where mindset training comes in.
I hope you’ll join me on this journey.